Defeat

I have been feeling incredibly defeated lately. I have tried not to show it, but I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and when I am hurting, even more so.

There wasn't a starting point; not that I can identify anyway, not but I do know that ever since I got baptized, the enemy has been after me.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8

I never really paid much attention to the first part of that verse until right now. "Be self-controlled and alert." Be aware of the enemies schemes. Control yourself and your reactions.

I have not done a great job of that lately.

The silver lining is that I have been forgiven - ever since that day that the enemy and I broke up and he's been on the warpath trying to win me back - and that I just need to act like it.